As a licensed family law attorney, a common questions I get from clients is, “Can I start dating while my divorce is still pending?” It’s a fair question—divorce can be emotionally exhausting, and it’s natural to want companionship during such a difficult time. Legally, the answer may seem straightforward: yes, you can date. But that doesn't mean you should—at least not without understanding the potential legal and practical consequences.
Below, I’ll walk you through the legal landscape in California, including how dating during divorce can impact custody, spousal support, and the overall tone of your case.
Is Dating During Divorce Illegal in California?
No. California is a no-fault divorce state, which means that neither spouse needs to prove wrongdoing (like adultery) to be granted a divorce. The court does not punish a party for dating during the divorce process. However, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s without consequences.
Potential Legal Risks and Considerations
1. Child Custody Concerns
If you have a minor child(ren), dating during your divorce may raise red flags—especially if your new relationship involves overnight visits or if the new partner interacts with your child(ren). Although there is no direct prohibition, this can become a highly contested issue where allegations can be made involving whether the new relationship is affecting the minor child(ren) and/or how the new partner is treating the minor child(ren).
Family court judges in California prioritize the best interests of the child. If your new relationship disrupts the children's routines or creates instability, the other parent may use it as evidence to argue for reduced custody or to prevent the new partner from being left alone with the minor child(ren).
Tip: Introduce a new partner to your children only after the relationship becomes serious and stable. Even then, consult with your attorney first.
2. Impact on Spousal Support (Alimony)
While simply dating won’t directly affect your right to receive or pay spousal support, cohabitation might. Under California Family Code § 4323, if the supported party begins living with a new partner, there’s a rebuttable presumption that their need for support has decreased.
If you’re the party receiving support and you move in with a new partner—even before the divorce is finalized—it could lead to a reduction or termination of spousal support.
3. Financial and Property Division Issues
Dating during a divorce can also complicate the division of property. If you use marital funds on a new relationship—for example, taking your new partner on trips or buying gifts—you could be accused of wasting community assets, and that may result in an unequal division of the marital estate.This could lead to the court ordering you to reimburse your spouse for those expenditures.
Practical Thoughts To Consider When Dating During the Divorce Process:
✔️ Be Discreet and Respectful
Even though dating isn’t illegal, the optics can be damaging. Divorce proceedings often involve a high level of scrutiny, and openly dating can escalate tensions, prolong negotiations, and reduce the likelihood of a settlement.
✔️ Think About Timing
If possible, wait until your divorce is finalized before entering a new relationship. It can help you emotionally transition and avoid making decisions driven by hurt or loneliness.
✔️ Keep Children Out of It—For Now
Never use your children to justify or validate your new relationship. Introducing a new partner too soon can create emotional stress for your kids.
✔️ Consult Your Attorney
Every divorce is unique. If you're considering dating, talk to your family law attorney first. We can help you understand how your actions might affect the outcome of your case and guide you in making decisions that protect your legal and parental interests.
Final Thoughts
Dating during divorce in California is not illegal, but it can have unintended consequences. It’s important to balance your emotional needs with the potential legal implications. If you’re navigating a divorce in Southern California and are unsure how dating might affect your case, don’t hesitate to reach out for a confidential consultation. Your future—and your family—deserve thoughtful, informed decisions.
Need personalized legal advice? Contact us today for a free consultation.